Vegas headliners give their New Year’s resolutions for 2012


After celebrating New Year's Eve in Vegas, what will your resolution be?

By Caroline Fontein

New Year’s Eve is right around the corner. It’s time to start thinking about what you’re going to resolve to do in 2012. We turned to Vegas headliners to see what their resolutions are for the New Year. Living in Sin City and performing on the Las Vegas Strip for a living, we knew they’d have some unique responses. It sounds like 2012 is going to be an exciting year! Here’s what they wrote us:

Terry Fator at Mirage
“I have three.  To keep exercising and working out like I did in 2011, to put on the best show we can every night and to be there at the Super Bowl when the Cowboys take the field.”

Phil Burton, Human Nature at Imperial Palace
“To finally sit down and learn Japanese from my Rosetta Stone software. I bought the whole damn series over a year ago with visions of brilliant linguistic skills in my head, then did the first three lessons before ‘running out of time’ to do the rest. Time to remedy the situation.”


The performers of Human Nature are looking forward to the New Year.

 Andrew Tierney, Human Nature at Imperial Palace
“This year I’m going to tell my self to worry less about the things that I can’t change – it gets you nowhere. Less worriment and more enjoyment for 2012.”

 Michael Tierney, Human Nature at Imperial Palace
“My New Years resolution is ‘Don’t worry, Be Happy,’ be thankful for all that I have and take time to enjoy the small things in life.”

Toby Allen, Human Nature at Imperial Palace
“Now that I am a homeowner in Vegas, I want to make the effort to decorate my house for the holidays. Some of the houses in my community do an awesome job, and my house looked like a feeble effort this Christmas. Move over Clark Griswold – how many lights would it take to take down Vegas’ grid?!”

Penn Jillette, the larger, louder half of Penn & Teller at Rio
“This year for SURE, we’re going to dress a live cow as an elephant, surround her with audience members and vanish her into thin air.  I KNOW I said that last year, but . . . hey, did you keep up your gym membership, your diet, or stop watching reality shows?  Huh?  Did you?”

Kevin Burke,Defending the Caveman” at Harrah’s
“I turned 50 this year. Do you know what happens when you turn 50? They send you an AARP membership card, WHETHER YOU WANT IT OR NOT. I don’t feel retired, but I guess they’re trying to tell me something. So this year I resolve to finally get in shape. Better shape, anyway. (Not that I’m in bad shape. I still have my washboard abs, I’m just carrying a load of laundry on them right now.)”

Dirk Arthur,Dirk Arthur’s Wild Magic” at O’Sheas
“My News Year’s resolution is to try to do more to help endangered species survive in the wild because their numbers are rapidly diminishing due to poaching for the illegal medicine trade and encroachment by man upon their native jungles and habitats.”

Frank Marino,Divas Las Vegas” Imperial Palace
“This year I’m going to have the resolution of resolutions. In order to not set myself up for failure, I’m not even going to make a resolution and just try to live my life by all the other resolutions that I’ve broken for the past 29 years I’ve been on this earth (which is the age I tell everyone I am on Facebook). Actually I think it’s about time I stop lying about that too. After all 31 is not that old… Wow, I just can’t help myself.”

Penny Pibbets,Absinthe” at Caesars Palace
“My New Year’s resolution is to prove that the accordion, contrary to popular reputation, is NOT an annoying instrument. So, I will be playing it incessantly everyday in the mornings for all my neighbors to enjoy!”


The Gazillionaire gives his two cents when it comes to 2012.

The Gazillionaire,  “Absinthe” at Caesars Palace
Get less boring, rich, fat, white people to see Absinthe and more gays, blacks and Hispanics. They are just more fun. Find Penny a new job. I am so sick of watching those puppets go down on each other. Meet Rick Perry and kiss him… with a lot of tongue.

Josh Strickland,PEEPSHOW” at Planet Hollywood
“My New Year’s resolution is to be involved in more charities. It’s so amazing to see the faces of the people and lives you’ve changed with a simple gesture. Also, I would like to get to the gym more often.”

Cheaza, “Peep Diva” in “PEEPSHOW” at Planet Hollywood
“My New Year’s resolution for 2012 is to finish up my album and introduce my music to the WORLD! I also am very excited to help my daughter see her dreams come true as an actress and recording artist! Traveling the world more wouldn’t be a bad resolution at all either!”

Angel Porrino,Absinthe” at Caesars Palace
“My New Year’s resolution is to MAKE THINGS HAPPEN! I always talk about doing things, but never do it! I’m going to make this year a BIG year for Roman and I! And also to read more!”

Nathan Burton, Nathan Burton Comedy Magic” at Flamingo
“New Year already? Well, it has to be to come up with a better New Year’s resolution for next year!”

Marley Taylor,  “Name That Tune Live!” at Imperial Palace
“To surround myself with positive people, laughter, light and good vibes.”

George Wallace at Flamingo
“My New Year’s Resolution is for peace and tolerance in Washington, D.C. Because right now it’s just sad, and WRONG.”

Zowie Bowie, Lounge act
“To go to the gym I’ve been paying a membership to for the last year, but have never gone.”