It’s 2010, a whole, brand new year in which you can make questionable decisions and do slightly iffy things. Because we’re five days into it already, we’re going to go ahead and assume that you’ve already broken most of your resolutions. (How’s the gym membership working out? Quit smoking yet?)
But, unless you started the year in one, you probably haven’t had a chance to break your Vegas nightclub resolutions yet. Oh, what’s that? You didn’t make Vegas nightclub resolutions? That’s OK. We’ve made them for you. Four (a nice even number), not-asking-too-much resolutions that’ll help make your night better and help make us not want to take the word “tourist” in vain.
1.) Resolve not to forget that what happens here doesn’t always, in fact, stay here.
If you’re acting like your actions aren’t going to follow you home, chances are you’ll do something stupid enough that it’s practically guaranteed to follow you home. Don’t get into a fight, especially with an employee, don’t take off your clothes, and don’t get so drunk that you puke on or in anything that isn’t a toilet in a bathroom. And even getting that drunk is a mistake, but we’re trying to be reasonable.
2.) Resolve to at least realize, if not always respect, that your vacation is another person’s day job.
Yes, yes, it’s super awesome you’re in Vegas. We’re actually, believe it or not, super happy you’re here. It gives us something to do and gives the city an industry. We should totally all be able to get along. But when you start yelling or spitting or exploding bottles of champagne (unless, of course, you’re famous), you’re asking to make us step in. And that’s bound to make you mad. If you think for even a second that we enjoy raining on your parade, you’re wrong, but it has to be done. Because that’s the terms of employment at XYZ Resort or ABC Nightclub. Sorry. Make our job easier and your vacation nicer by following the few rules Sin City does put down.
3.) Resolve to get in the spirit of things.
(Although this may seem contrary to the first two resolutions, it’s not.) There’s nothing worse than a person on vacation or out on the town that seems like they would rather be anywhere else. Clearly you, at least at some point, thought Vegas was a good idea. Remember that. Embrace it. Enjoy it. There’s no reason to sit at your table with a sour look on your face, glaring at anybody. You know what that makes you look like? Something between a sociopath and a jerk. Come have fun with us! We like fun, you like fun. Let’s do this thing.
4.) Resolve to come back.
No, seriously, we’re not needy or anything. But just — please come back. Always.