Knowing that it’s unlikely you can convince another woman that you are a mature adult, you realized you’d better ask her to marry you before someone else does.
That means you’re willing to forgo decades of future bachelor life, strange women, partying till you puke and BASE jumping. Your wedding day is the funeral to your single life.
Good thing for you there’s a living wake for your single life and it’s called a bachelor party.
Las Vegas is notoriously known as the bachelor party capital of the world with options to fulfill your every desire whether you’re going out with guns blazing or just having a guys’ weekend before the big day.
We’ve put together a list of must-know information and places to make your last stand memorable.
Hookers= up to six months in jail
Before we get too caught up in all the stuff you should do, here’s something you shouldn’t do. An escort is another word for prostitute and, while Las Vegas is extremely open to sexuality, prostitution is illegal here. If you feel the urge to make your last stand with another woman — not named your future wife — there are several options located just outside of Clark County in Pahrump and a few other towns.
Now that we got that out of the way…
Some tips on attire
Tip 1: Resist the temptation to order those “R.I.P. [groom’s name],” shirts. You don’t want to look like a member of the Temptations with your matching outfits.
Tip 2: The same can be said for striped shirts. Don’t be the striped shirt brigade. If you’re in a group of five, have no more than two striped shirts. Mix things up with solid colors, a blazer or a fashionable tie. If you must have a theme or matching items, keep it discreet. Try matching ties, handkerchiefs or watches.
Limo says style
Head into the single life the right way — in a limo. Walking to your headquarters for bachelor party debauchery is so passé, but arriving in a limo creates a statement. Sure, that statement isn’t as pronounced when you see hoards of other limos lining up to the entrance of casinos, but it beats the heel-toe-express.
Limo rides from one casino to another typically will cost you just a little more than cab fare and trust us when we say the upgrade is well worth the extra scratch.
Wedding season is also pool season in Vegas
Turn the bachelor party into a three-day event by kicking off the weekend at Ditch Fridays at the Palms. Three pools, ladies in bikinis and big-name DJs start the festivities off right.
Daytime may be your prime sleeping time during this weekend, but don’t leave Vegas without one last stand at Rehab. The iconic Sunday pool party will be your rite of passage and remind you of what you’re giving up in married life.
If you make it out of bed during daytime hours, you’ll want to strap yourself to a daybed or cabana at Azure at the Palazzo. It’s a bit more low-key than most other pool clubs, but your hangover may appreciate it. Also, the ladies tend to flock there and your single friends will appreciate that.
The St. Tropez feel of Encore Beach Club is a good tune-up for what you’re about to get into the rest of the day. Big-name DJs flock to the club, bringing an unmatched daytime party atmosphere.
Dine like a man should
We’re going to say this once: You are men. One more time for good measure: You are men. Now that we have that established, eat like men when you come to Vegas. Don’t let French delicacies entice you or be drawn in by miniature pigs in a blanket with a fancy name or even vegetables for that matter.
Instead opt for a tomahawk cut of the finest aged steaks at places like Botero or Brand. Or step up to the 777 Burger with a $777 price tag at Le Burger Brasserie Sports Grille at Paris Las Vegas.
And of course you can’t pair up a fine steak with a fruity, umbrella-topped cocktail. Order an old-fashioned, a mojito or that entire bottle of Jack Daniels behind the bar, after all this is supposed to be a weekend befitting a man making a last stand.
Nothing says bachelor party like a Las Vegas strip club
As cliché as a night of 1,000 lap dances may be, it remains a staple and there is nowhere better than a Las Vegas strip club to go out in style. This could also be an opportunity for that limo ride we mentioned earlier as most major strip clubs offer free limo rides from any Strip resort.
Bottle service is often considerably cheaper at strip clubs than at nightclubs. Having the table gives your group a home base to work with too, which means girls will come to you rather than you having to track them down.
While we’re on the topic of strip clubs, though, we should mention a few rules worth noting.
- There’s no quicker way to get thrown out of a club than groping a dancer.
- If you have no intentions of getting a lap dance tell the dancer as soon as she arrives to your table, not 30 minutes later. That’s 30 minutes she could have spent actually making money.
- Offer the girls drinks. Of course they’re trying to make money from you, but keeping the transaction social keeps the business-like awkwardness out of the mix.
- Bring enough money to get through the night. All strip clubs have ATMs, but the fees are often between 15-20 percent. If you’re pulling out $100 that’s a lap dance worth of fees.
- As Chris Rock said, there’s no sex in the champagne room — no matter what she says or does.
Topless shows an alternative to strip clubs
Maybe strip clubs aren’t your thing, and that’s totally OK. But that doesn’t preclude you from taking in some topless action anyway. Vegas has a number of shows on the Strip that are just as exciting as strip clubs — without the lap dances.
“Fantasy” at the Luxor has entertained audiences for more than a decade and with sultry dancers, comedian Sean E. Cooper and the vocals of Lorena Peril, it’s easy to see why.
Playboy and reality TV fans will welcome the dream sequence of “Peepshow“, where star of “Holly’s World,” Holly Madison headlines. The blonde bombshell takes on a sexier version of Bo Peep and features some dazzling dancing from a number of scantily-clad performers.
If you’re looking for a classic Las Vegas showgirl experience, look no further than “Jubilee!” The last of a long-standing tradition in Las Vegas features 85 topless and covered women dancing in the classic showgirl headpieces, weighing nearly 35 pounds each.
Finding the right nightlife stop depends on what type of person you are. While nightclubs carry a lot of positives for groups, they are not for everyone. Some bars or lounges on the Strip might offer the type of experience you’re looking for and sometimes at a fraction of the cost of a club.
Major nightclubs like Tao, Rain, Haze or XS are places to see and be seen. If the single members of your group are looking for members of the opposite sex they undoubtedly will head here. Just one caveat here though, bachelor parties are like bringing sand to the beach, while bachelorette parties are equal to a sunny day at the beach. And like the beach, Vegas just isn’t the same without the sun or in this case women. So groups of guys should be prepared to spring for bottle service or get to the club early.
Bottle service is probably the best option because in the end, for a group of guys, it’s the more cost effective option when you consider the cover charge and price per drink.
Bars, on the other hand, generally provide a different kind of atmosphere that could be more conducive to your group’s needs. King Ink Tattoo Studio and Bar could serve as both a bar and foolish mistake your entire group will forever remember. The staff at Dick’s Last Resort will embarrass you in front of a room full of people, but it’s well worth the laughs. Or head downtown where a resurgent nightlife scene has emerged with bars like The Griffin, Vanguard Lounge and Hogs & Heifers Saloon.
Breaking the stereotypical model
While many will feel inclined to stick to the obligatory bachelor party, full of thongs, dollar bills and shot glasses, that type of revelry isn’t for everyone.
Don’t worry, though, Vegas still has you covered.
If you’re staying at an MGM resort and are willing to commit $500 a round, you can play on the exclusive Shadow Creek Golf Course, which recently hosted the Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational.
Or you could take your group to Wynn Golf and Country Club, located behind the Wynn and Encore, for the same price but with a convenient Strip location.
If golf is a little too tame for you, perhaps the thrill of free falling 855 feet or flying around a race track at 135 miles an hour will whet your appetite. If your bachelor party is seeking an adrenaline-rushing experience, SkyJump at the Stratosphere or one of the many racing experiences at Las Vegas Motor Speedway is the way to go.
SkyJump gives you the free-falling thrill of parachuting on the Strip, but brings you to a halt just before you hit the ground.
At Las Vegas Motor Speedway your group can quench their need for speed inside an actual NASCAR or Indy car or take a drive in a dream car like a Lamborghini or Ferrari.
Don’t get the marriage called off
You’ve sat through agonizing sessions of picking out table linens, deciding between different shades of white. You passed on inviting your barber so your fiancé can invite a third cousin she hasn’t spoken to since preschool. And odds are the wedding date is less than a week after your bachelor party.
Now is not the time to screw this up.
That means your bachelor party is not a free pass to make your last stand with a group of drunk coeds or that stripper you fell in love with. Search the internet to find out how that has worked out for other people.
Additionally, make a pact to turn off all cameras. Your future wife won’t appreciate photos of Destiny and Porsche on your lap, while glitter lights up your face like a disco ball.