(Our easy-to-follow guide to the rules of partying hard in a Vegas nightclub)
We know, you came to Vegas to get away from the massive list of rules you have to play by every day — don’t stand here, don’t park there, don’t put that cat there — and Sin City wants to indulge you, really. But partying in our nightclubs can get a little tricky — especially if you aren’t aware of some of the unspoken rules that govern Vegas’ nocturnal carnival.
Before you get all upset, take a look at this easy-to-follow pictorial. We know you weren’t really planning on wearing your Bluetooth into a club anyway, but, well, not everyone has your common sense.
1. Put on some dress shoes. Sure, there are clubs that might let you in with the latest Nikes, but it’s not every club and it’s not every night. Err on the side of caution and save the sneakers for the court, Shaq. Ladies, stick to chunky heels (Why? See No. 7 under Don’ts).
2. Bring cash. A smile and a tight dress might open some doors, but all those things and a nice tip will open even more. You don’t have to get crazy with it, but this isn’t a lemonade stand – don’t be insulting.
3. Sure, you’ve got the cutest little babyface. And your mother loves it. You know who doesn’t love it? The doorman. He’s trying to keep out the real babies, so do him a favor and have your ID out. Even if you think you look old enough.
4. Bring just the essentials. The less stuff you have to lose, the better. Narrow it down to things you can’t live without – will your world really come crashing down if you leave all 47 colors of eye shadow at home? No, it won’t.
5. Think about other people. You’re going to be right up next to people at the bar, on the dance floor, in line for the restroom – just about everywhere. You don’t need to cover yourself in perfume (in fact, that would be awful), but some deodorant and a few spare breath mints go a long way.
6. Plan ahead. Whether it’s a call ahead for a table or buying a front-of-the-line pass, a little bit of planning during the day can save a ton of time at night. Think about it this way: Stand in line and wait or stand on the dance floor with a drink?
1. Don’t wear your Bluetooth. Not only can you definitely not hear anything, you run the risk of the cute girl next to you catching part of your conversation with “Mommy.” Nobody cares, buddy.
2. Don’t keep your convention badge on. So you’re some sort of important dude in your field, that’s great – during the day. In a club, a convention badge is just a big red target that screams “I don’t come here often and I don’t know what I’m doing.”
3. Don’t leave your hat on. Yes, yes, you spent 45 minutes getting it cocked to just the right angle and it looks totally awesome. But a lot of the clubs won’t even let you in with a hat on, so your time is better spent combing your hair into something that looks like you didn’t comb it at all.
4. Don’t pack a duffel bag. The big, “my-life-is-in-here” purses are trendy, but totally impractical for a nightclub. How are you going to dance with 10 pounds of stuff anchoring down one side of your body? We’ve seen you dance. That purse isn’t helping anything.
5. Don’t mistake the club for a zoo. We all love our pets, but there’s a time and a place for your Chihuahua. Unless you’re a certain female celebrity, in which case, would the pup like sparkling or still?
6. Don’t think you’re going to drive anywhere afterward. You shouldn’t even need to be told this, but if you’re going out for a night at the club and you’re going to drink, make sure somebody else isn’t. Or leave the car keys at home and take a taxi. Or walk. Or get a room and sleep it off. Or – well, you get the point.
7. Don’t wear your highest heels. All right, your legs look great and you feel great, right? That’ll last for about 15 minutes. Then your feet will be killing you and you’ll spend the rest of the night desperately searching for a bandage and a place to sit.
8. Don’t wear your sunglasses. It’s midnight, you’re indoors and you have your Ray-Bans on. You look ridiculous. Trust us.