Normally, when I hear glug glug glug, it’s because I’ve poured myself an obscenely large glass of wine. But in this case, it was the sound my body made as it sank into the 11-foot-deep lagoon at the Venetian. Nope, I wasn’t under the influence; I was attending Gondolier University. And while jumping into the water may sound like a good idea when you’re drinking, I should probably mention there’s a tourist-gobbling sea monster that lives below the surface. He has a taste for the polluted livers of drunken party-goers, so consider yourself warned.
If you want to get into the lagoon without having to worry about bail money and an unfortunate cameo on “Las Vegas Jailhouse,” the Venetian gives folks the chance during Gondolier University tryouts. Hundreds of wannabes attend the event each year, but only a handful are chosen. Sounds like a piece of cake, right? I thought so too. At the very least, it seemed like a pretty good excuse to sweet talk the staff into putting me through the program.
I mean, it looked easy enough. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen the gondoliers gliding through the water in their funny hats, singing sweet melodies as their passengers giggled, gazed, smooched and repeated. If you’re like me, you’ve probably watched them rowing the canals and thought to yourself: “I bet I could do that.” And there’s a chance you can — there’s also a chance you’re a complete moron. Can you guess which category I fell into?
You don’t have to wonder much longer, because we decided to film the whole thing for your twisted enjoyment. We laughed, we sang, I swam, and luckily none of us were eaten by the monster. But after going through gondolier boot camp, I should probably stick with the wine.
Wanna know what it’s like to get in on the gondola action? Click here to learn more.